Reminders of Home
by AmunRa
Summary: "Aizen has been defeated; the war is over, but I failed, once again, to protect Hinamori. As she lies dying from injuries that I inflicted, I have to go and face the one person who can either condemn me for what I've done or show me how to forgive myself: my grandmother." Hitsugaya travels to his childhood home to tell his grandmother about what happened to Hinamori. One-shot.


This is my first Bleach story. It's a one-shot, which is rare for me. I've been away from writing for a couple of years so I wanted to test the waters a bit. Not many people are writing good Hitsugaya stories anymore so I thought I'd give it a try.

**Warnings**: some fluffiness; some OC-ness; Hitsugaya's grandmother was never given much of a role in the manga, so I decided to give her one.

**Spoilers**: takes place sometime after episode 310, which is the end of the arrancar act, but before the time skip. Anything regarding Hitsugaya's background and childhood is also fair game.

**Disclaimer**: Bleach is owned by the wonderful people that created it and brought it to us to enjoy. I'm just playing in the sandbox for a little bit.

Constructive criticism is welcome, as I'm always looking to improve my writing. I watched the sub, so I use many of the Japanese terms. I apologize in advance if this confuses anyone. The story had no beta, so all mistakes are my own.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Reminders of Home**

"Enjoy your day off, Hitsgaya-taichou!"

Hitsugaya looked up as he passed Jidanbou, who was grinning from ear to ear and waving enthusiastically at him. Hitsugaya waved back, but he didn't share his friend's enthusiasm. He was only taking the day off to fulfill an obligation; something he should have done weeks ago, but hadn't been able to do because he'd been in the 4th division being pieced back together. It was the last thing in the world he wanted to do: tell his grandmother about what he'd done to Hinamori.

Just the thought of what Aizen had done to him, to all of them, really, made his entire left side ache in remembered pain. He raised his left hand and wiggled his fingers, still amazed that Unohana and her people had been able to salvage his arm and his leg. He'd been released from the 4th division three days ago and the wounds, while healed, were still tender and painful. The physical pain, however, was nothing compared to the guilt he felt at what he'd done. Every time he closed his eyes or let his mind wonder, he'd see the blood on her chest and face, blood that he'd spilled. He'd remember the feel of his sword pushing into her chest, cold and warm at the same time as her blood coated his hands. He'd hear her voice, full of shock and pain, ask him that single question:

"_Shirou-chan… why?"_

Why, indeed? He'd asked himself that same question time and time again and the only answer he'd managed to come up with was that he was weak and he'd failed her once again… because, no matter how much he worked or how hard he tried, he was never good enough.

Hitsugaya shook the dark thoughts out of his mind as he entered into Junrinan. The last thing he wanted was to be distracted among people he didn't know, not that there were that many people out and about that morning. Those that were gave him the strange looks he'd become accustomed to over the years. Whether it was because he was still in uniform and carried his zanpakutou on his back or whether it was because they remembered him from when he was a kid, Hitsugaya didn't know and didn't care. If their fear of him kept them away, then that suited him just fine.

He reached the fork in the road that would take him to his old home when he remembered that his grandmother still loved amanattou. He should stop and get her some. Maybe the offering would soften the blow of what he had to tell her a little bit. Hitsugaya turned and headed towards the candy stand that still had the best amanattou in town. He hadn't been to it himself in quite a while, but his grandmother often sent him packages of the sweets from this place, so Hitsugaya knew that she still frequented there.

As he reached the small shop, he was surprised to see that the same man who Matsumoto had yelled at all those years ago for mistreating Hitsugaya was still running the place. The man seemed to recognize Hitsugaya as well, because his eyes widened a bit when he saw who his customer was.

"Two bags, please," Hitsugaya said and dug into his pocket for the coins he'd need to pay for his purchase.

He set the money on the counter and didn't bother to hold his hand out for his change, figuring the man would do what he'd done all those years ago and throw it on the counter. Instead, the man carefully wrapped Hitsugaya's purchase in brightly colored paper and held the package, and the change, out for Hitsugaya to take. Hitsugaya raised a surprised eyebrow at the man's behavior and took his items.

"Thank you for your business," the candy seller said as Hitsugaya turned away.

Hitsugaya's mouth quirked up a bit as he walked away. Maybe the uniform did scare some people after all. All traces of humor left him, however, as he stepped into view of his old home. It was still morning and his grandmother should be out tending to the garden. He bypassed the door and walked around the house to the back where, sure enough, she was sitting on the ground watering her small patch of vegetables. She noticed him before he could call out to her and her face brightened, her smile like a stab in the heart to Hitsugaya because he knew that he would be responsible for removing it pretty soon.

"Toushirou!" she exclaimed as she got up. She made her way over to him and wrapped her arms around him. "It's been so long. I'm so happy to see you."

Hitsugaya returned the embrace, breathing in her familiar scent and basking in the warmth she'd always carried, even when he'd been inadvertently freezing her at night with his uncontrolled reiatsu. Her hands ran up and down his back, careful of the zanpakutou strapped there, and then moved up to his shoulders. She studied him carefully.

"Something is wrong, Toushirou," she finally said.

Hitsugaya forced a small smile. "What makes you think that, obaa-san?"

"Your eyes, they're haunted."

"War does that to people," he said and stepped back so that her hands fell to her side.

"It's more than that," she said. "Come, you can tell me over tea."

He handed her the package of amanattou as she led him inside. She opened it and beamed.

"Thank you, Toushirou. We can eat this with tea," she said.

"I'll make the tea," Hitsugaya said.

He took off his zanpakutou and leaned it against the wall to the kitchen where it would be within reach should he need it. He knew his way around this particular kitchen, though he hadn't been in it for quite a while, and had the tea brewed and served in no time. They sat in the living area in silence, sipping their tea and eating sweets. Hitsugaya focused his gaze on the floor, but he could feel his grandmother's eyes on him.

"You haven't asked me about Hinamori," Hitsugaya finally said.

"No, because whatever is wrong has something to do with her, doesn't it?"

Hitsugaya shouldn't have been surprised at his grandmother's intuition. There was no one in this world that knew him better, after all. He felt his heartbeat speed up and his hands tightened around the teacup. When he spoke, his voice was almost a whisper.

"I've done something horrible, obaa-san. Something I don't think I can ever atone for. "

His grandmother set her teacup down on the table in front of them and then did the same with his. She took his hands in hers and Hitsugaya focused his attention on her old, wrinkled hands cradling his larger, callused ones.

"Child, what could you have possibly done that's so horrible?" she asked. "You're one of the kindest and sweetest people I know."

Hitsugaya's throat constricted painfully and he could see his vision blurring from the tears gathering in his eyes.

"I hurt her," Hitsugaya said, his voice breaking. "I stabbed her with my sword and nearly killed her."

His grandmother gasped and her hands tightened around his. "Momo?" she asked.

"Yes," Hitsugaya said through clenched teeth. "I thought…" he trailed off, unsure of how much he should burden her with, how much she needed to know.

"Did this happen during the war?" she asked, her voice calm and strong.

"Hinamori's captain, whom she adored, betrayed her," Hitsugaya began to explain. "It hurt her dearly when he left and it took her a long time to get over it. This captain tried to turn her against me and it worked, for a little while. But Hinamori is strong and she overcame his influence."

He paused to regroup his reeling thoughts. His eyes were no longer watering and he thanked whatever spirit was looking out for him that he was able to speak clearly and without the hatred he felt swirling to the surface.

"He knew that the best way to get to me was through her and he tricked us into attacking him. I thought…" Hitsugaya's voice broke once again and it took him a while to regain his composure. "I thought I was attacking him, but when it was all over, my sword was buried in Hinamori's chest."

The old woman gasped and he looked up to see the horrified look on her face. He glanced away and removed his hands from her grip.

"The last thing she said to me was "why?" I couldn't tell her that it was because I was not strong enough… I was never strong enough."

His grandmother put one hand under his chin and lifted his head up so that she could see into his eyes. The tears that had pooled in his eyes slipped down his cheeks. She put her hands on either side of his face and wiped the tears away with her thumbs. She pulled him towards her until his forehead was resting on her shoulder and her hands rested on his arms.

"Oh, Toushirou…" she said. "You feel so deeply and you take on so much responsibility onto your shoulders," she said. "You would never have hurt Momo intentionally. I know that and I'm sure Momo knows that too. The only person who hasn't gotten the message yet is you."

"How can you say that?" Hitsugaya said, lifting his head from her shoulder. "I hurt her. I almost killed her! She may still end up dying because of what I did to her. Aren't you angry?"

She smiled at him with that patient and kind smile that she'd given him when he'd been harassed by the neighborhood kids and he told her it didn't bother him, when he woke up from a nightmare and told her that he wasn't scared, or when he told her that Hinamori could stay away forever because he didn't want to see her anymore. It was a smile that said that it was ok if he wanted to pretend that he wasn't hurt, because she knew better and she'd make sure that she healed the hurt.

"I'm not angry," she finally said. "I'm sad to see my babies hurt and I hate to see you turn so much hatred onto yourself, Toushirou. You don't deserve it."

Hitsugaya wanted to argue with her, to tell her that he did deserve it for not being able to keep his promises and protect his friend, but one look at the determined set to her jaw made the words die in his throat. There was no arguing with her when she got that look.

"How is Momo?" she asked.

"She's in our medical facility," he replied. "I… the damage was severe and they had to rebuild her heart. The procedure was a success, but she's in a coma. The healers aren't sure if she's going to wake up from it."

His grandmother's eyes darkened with worry at the thought of her granddaughter, the girl she'd raised, in a coma for the rest of her life.

"What about you, were you injured?" she asked.

"My injuries were severe as well, but the medics healed me," he replied.

"You're still in quite a bit of pain, Toushirou; I can see it in your eyes."

"Yes," he said, knowing that lying to her was useless. "But I'm getting better every day."

She nodded and got to her feet. She collected the dishes they'd dirtied and took them into the kitchen. Hitsugaya suspected that she needed a moment to collect herself and didn't interfere.

"Do you want to go see her?" Hitsugaya asked when she came back to sit with him.

"Can I? Will they let me in to Seireitei?" she asked.

"Of course," he said. "We can leave now if you want."

His grandmother's eyes lit up. "Let me change and I'll be ready in a few minutes."

He watched her go and wondered, not for the first time, what she'd seen in him that had made her want to open her home to him.

* * *

Sayuri walked a few steps behind Toushirou as they made their way to Seireitei. She couldn't help but notice the rigid set to his shoulders and the deadly blade that he carried across his back. She saw that his hands clenched and unclenched at his sides and that, occasionally, he would inhale sharply as a twinge of pain hit him. He was in a lot more pain than he was letting on, and Sayuri wouldn't put it past him to have left the medical facility before his time just so he could come talk to her. He was stubborn and tended to take care of himself last. She'd seen that in him from very early on.

Toushirou had not always been happy to be on the receiving end of her attention and caregiving. He'd been suspicious and guarded at first, but he'd eventually warmed up to her and Momo.

"_Child, are you ok?"_

_Sayuri knelt beside the white-haired, green-eyed youngster and he flinched away from her. His lip and nose were bloody, and his threadbare kimono had been torn at the shoulder, exposing part of his chest, where she could see more bruises. The kids that had been beating on him had been injured too, so this little one had put up quite a fight._

"_How badly are you hurt?" she asked. _

_He didn't respond. Instead, he backed away from her a little bit. His eyes darted from her to the surroundings, as if expecting someone else to come along. _

"_They're not coming back," she said, prompting him to look at her again. "They're probably running to their daddies right about now."_

_The boy looked even more distressed; he tried to get to his feet, but lost his balance as soon as he put pressure on his left leg, and ended up back on the ground. Sayuri got a little bit closer until she had her hand on his leg. _

"_It looks like it's broken, child," she said to the youngster as she explored the area around his ankle. "You're not going to be going anywhere on this." _

_The youngster looked horrified at the news. He looked like he wanted to run away and was almost panicking at the realization that he couldn't. _

"_Obaa-san, where are you?"_

"_Over here, Momo. I could use a little help!"_

_The boy looked suspiciously at Momo as she approached where they were sitting. Momo, for her part, smiled brightly at the boy. _

"_Hi there!" she said cheerfully. "It looks like you got into a fight. Are you ok?" _

_Momo knelt beside Sayuri and examined the boy carefully. When he didn't respond, she turned to Sayuri. "We're not going to leave him here alone, are we obaa-san?"_

"_Of course not, Momo," Sayuri said. "He's coming home with us." _

_The boy shook his head. "No, I'm fine," he finally said. "I'll be on my way." _

_He tried to get up again, this time more carefully so that he wouldn't lose his balance. He succeeded in getting to his feet, but he couldn't take a step without crying out. Momo went over to him and put her hand on his arm. _

"_We can help you," she said. "Don't worry, we're good people. We're not like the others who pick on you."_

_The boy looked at Momo, green eyes locked with brown. Sayuri couldn't help but notice the fierce determination in those eyes, even for someone as young as the boy appeared to be. He was used to taking care of himself, of that Sayuri had no doubt. _

"_Look, child, you have nowhere to go and we have a home that's more than big enough for the three of us," she said. "We could use some extra help tending to the house and the garden that we keep. How about we take care of those injuries and in return you do a little work for us. Does that sound fair?"_

_The boy looked from one to the other as if trying to gauge if they had any ill intent. He must not have seen what he expected because he nodded. _

"_Great! I'm Sayuri and this is Momo. What's your name?"_

"_I'm Toushirou," he said. _

"_Welcome to the family, Toushirou." _

Sayuri was brought back to the present by the sight of a huge man standing guard outside one of the gates. The man smiled and waved at them.

"Hitsugaya-taichou, you're back early."

Toushirou waved back at the giant of a man. "I have some business to take care of, Jidanbou," he said. "I have permission from Yamamoto-soutaichou to bring my grandmother into Seireitei."

"Of course," Jidanbou said and smiled down at her. "Welcome to Seireitei, Hitsugaya-taichou's grandmother."

"I'm Sayuri," she said and smiled back. "Nice to meet you, Jidanbou."

The big man let them through the door. Sayuri had never been inside the city, though she lived close enough to it that she sometimes walked along the perimeter. As they got deeper inside the city, Sayuri noticed the strange looks that were sent her way. When they saw whom she was with, however, the attitudes changed. The shinigami would nod their heads to her and greet her grandson respectfully. Toushirou returned the greetings, never failing to acknowledge the people who acknowledged him.

They'd walked quite a ways before they finally reached their destination: an imposing building surrounded by tall walls with guards stationed at the front entrance. The guards bowed to Toushirou.

"What can we do for you, Hitsugaya-taichou?" they asked.

"Unohana-taichou is expecting us," Toushirou said.

"Very well. We'll let her know to meet you in Hinamori-fukutaichou's room."

"Thank you," Toushirou said and led her inside.

"This is our medical unit," he explained to her as they traversed the endless hallways. "The healers here are the best in Seireitei and they do an impressive job of taking care of all of us. Hinamori has been here since… since she was injured."

Toushirou's shoulders slumped ever so slightly and, as worried as Sayuri was for her granddaughter, she couldn't help but feel for her grandson. Even if she had been angry at what happened, which she wasn't, Toushirou was doing a better job of beating himself up over it than she ever could. Toushirou stopped in front of a door that was also guarded and slowly slid the door aside. He stepped aside and let her walk in first.

The room was dark, and Sayuri couldn't immediately see the still figure lying on the bed. When she did, she gasped in shock. Her usually lively, bright, and happy granddaughter was lying on the bed silent and still. Her eyes were closed and her skin was deathly pale. She was way too thin and was surrounded by machines. One of them looked like it was breathing for her. She stepped up to the bed and touched Momo's cheek. It felt cold, clammy and unlike the warmth that Sayuri was so used to feeling there.

"Oh, Momo…" she said.

She ran her fingers through Momo's lose hair and over her face… down her arms and to her cold, still hands. Sayuri clasped Momo's hands in hers and closed her eyes.

"We're here for you, Momo," she said. "We'll be here when you wake up."

The door opened again and Sayuri turned to see a woman enter.

"Hitsugaya-taichou," she said.

"Unohana-taichou," he replied. "This is Sayuri, the woman who raised Hinamori and I, our grandmother."

"A pleasure to meet you, Sayuri-san," Unohana-taichou said. "I trust Hitsugaya-taichou has filled you in on Hinamori-fukutaichou's condition?"

"Yes, he has," Sayuri replied. "How is she doing now?"

"Well, Hinamori-fukutaichou's physical injuries are healing nicely. The machines are simply here to help relieve some of the stress on her body. We need to give her time to heal and maybe someday soon she'll come back to us," Unohana-taichou said. "Your being here will help her. Hinamori-fukutaichou needs to know that her loved ones are waiting for her to come back."

Sayuri nodded. "Thank you, Unohana-taichou."

"You may stay as long as you like," the woman told Sayuri and, with a farewell to Toushirou, left the room.

Sayuri sat down in the room's only chair and put her wrinkled hands around her granddaughters and watched Momo sleep. Toushirou stood behind her, quiet and unobtrusive, but Sayuri could feel the waves of anger and helplessness rolling off of him. They remained like that for hours, until the sun that had been filtering in through the closed blinds was gone. She looked at Toushirou, who still stood at the same spot he'd inhabited for the last few hours. His hands were clasped in front of him but, because he didn't know she was looking, his face was unguarded. He looked troubled, exhausted, and much older than he really was. He probably hadn't been getting much sleep since this whole thing had started and he was in desperate need of some rest.

She got up and went over to him. "I'm getting a bit tired," she said. "Is there somewhere we can go so I can lay down?"

Toushirou snapped out of his reverie and focused his attention on her.

"Yes," he said. "You can lay down in my quarters."

After a last look at Momo, Toushirou led her out of the medical complex. They walked for a bit until they reached another, similar looking building. The guards at the entrance to this one, however, bowed to Toushirou and let them in without any questions.

"This is my division," Toushirou said as he led her down the hallways. The shinigami they ran into greeted them and let them pass. They'd turned a corner when a young woman was suddenly in front of them.

"Taichou!" she said, "I didn't think you'd be back so soon."

The woman looked at Toushirou and then looked at Sayuri.

"Matsumoto Rangiku, this is Sayuri, my grandmother. Obaa-san, this is Matsumoto-fukutaichou, my vice captain."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Matsumoto-fukutaichou said and bowed. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Good things, I hope," Sayuri said and returned the smile. Matsumoto-fukutaichou was friendly and open and Sayuri could tell that she and Toushirou were good friends. It was very nice to see that someone else cared for Toushirou.

"Of course!" the blonde woman said. "Have you two eaten dinner yet? I can have the kitchen send something to your quarters."

"That would be nice, Matsumoto," Toushirou said. "Thank you."

"My pleasure," Matsumoto said and, with a wave goodbye, was gone.

They walked a little further down until they got to Toushirou's quarters. He let her in and led her to the couch in the living area.

"I'll go make some tea," he said.

"Come sit with me, Toushirou," she said and patted the couch beside her. He looked at her, confused, but he took off his sword, set it in its stand, and complied. "You look exhausted," she said. "When was the last time you got some sleep?"

He didn't immediately answer her, which in itself told her that it had been way too long.

"Sit back," she said and made him recline so that his head was resting on the back of the couch. "Close your eyes."

"I'm too old for this, obaa-san," he said and tried to get up. Her hand on his chest stopped him.

"You're too old to listen to your old grandmother when she tells you that you need some sleep?" she asked in that tone of voice that left no room for argument.

He, wisely, decided not to respond.

"Just close your eyes and clear your head," Sayuri said. "You're carrying an incredible amount of guilt and self loathing, Toushirou. Forget that for right now. Just relax and listen to the sound of my voice."

She started humming a tune she'd often hummed to him on the nights he'd wake up with nightmares and couldn't go back to sleep. He wasn't as young and impressionable now, of course, but Sayuri hoped that she could still calm him down enough. She watched as he fought with himself to relax… watched as his breathing evened out… watched as his hands relaxed and the creases on his forehead softened a little bit. She ran her thumbs over his forehead and tried to smooth out some of the creases that were still left. Toushirou worried way too much… he always had.

When Sayuri was sure that Toushirou was asleep, she laid him down fully on the couch. She went into his bedroom and got a blanket off the bed and draped it over him. He looked peaceful for the first time since he'd walked into her garden. She was glad that she could still have that effect on him. Sayuri knew that this was temporary, and that the long road for both of her grandchildren was just beginning, but she took comfort in the fact that they were both still alive and that they were both stubborn and would come through this in once piece.

She left Toushirou's quarters to let him sleep. She wasn't sure where she was going, but she figured that sooner or later she'd find her way.

* * *

Matsumoto wandered idly through the halls of the 10th division. It was still early and she wasn't sleepy. She was too intrigued by Hitsugaya-taichou's grandmother to leave the division and go drinking with her buddies. The elderly woman seemed kind and gentle, the complete opposite of her captain. Matsumoto had also seen strength and determination in the woman's face and could see where both Hinamori and Hitsugaya-taichou had gotten their stubborn streak.

She wasn't paying attention where she was going and almost ran into said elderly woman as she turned a corner.

"I'm so sorry," Sayuri said. "I didn't know where I was going."

"Are you lost, Sayuri-san?" Matsumoto asked. "I can help you find your way."

The woman shook her head. "No, I was just wandering aimlessly," she said. "Toushirou finally fell asleep and I wanted to give him privacy so I left his quarters. I wasn't sure where to go, though."

Matsumoto's eyes widened in disbelief. "You got Hitsugaya-taichou to go to sleep?" she asked. "We've all been trying, but he spends his nights in Hinamori's room and his days in the office working. How did you manage it?"

Sayuri smiled. "I've known him since he was a youngster," she said. "I have my ways."

Matsumoto chuckled. "Hitsugaya-taichou has a private courtyard," she said. "I can show you where it is if you'd like to rest there. Or perhaps you'd like something to eat? I doubt Hitsugaya-taichou even touched what I had the kitchen send to his quarters."

Sayuri's stomach chose that moment to speak up and both women laughed.

"Food it is," Matsumoto said and led the older woman to the kitchen.

She picked up some tea and sandwiches and then made her way back into Hitsugaya-taichou's quarters. The courtyard was only accessible through Hitsugaya-taichou's living room, so Matsumoto let herself in and quietly walked through the living room, where she caught her captain sleeping. He looked somewhat at peace, less troubled, at least. It was the first time she'd seen him that way in months.

Once she and Sayuri were settled in a small table outside with the moonlight and a few torches illuminating them, Sayuri spoke.

"You care about him," the woman said.

"I've known him for a very long time," Matsumoto said, "and we've worked together for quite a while. He's very important to me."

"And you to him," Sayuri said "I could tell by the way he introduced you. He doesn't bond with too many people."

"I know," Matsumoto said. "I've tried to get him to open up and hang around people, but he prefers his solitude. Has he always been that way?"

Sayuri nodded as she took a bite of her sandwich. "He'd been in Junrinan for a few years by the time Momo and I met him and, from what little he's told us, those years weren't very kind to him. He was very young when we met him and I can't imagine how he managed to fend for himself for those years. I think he learned from an early age that people were cruel and that he was better off alone."

"People think he's cold and uncaring, but he's anything but that. You just have to dig under the surface," Matsumoto said and was surprised when Sayuri's eyes lit up and her face broke into a smile. "What?" Matsumoto asked.

"I'm happy that you see that, Matsumoto-fukutaichou," she said. "Not many people bother to look deep enough."

Matsumoto nodded in agreement and Sayuri went on to tell Matsumoto several stories about her grandson. Matsumoto soaked it in, glad to know that, at some point, her captain had gotten to be somewhat of a child.

"It's time to retire for the night," Matsumoto said. "Thank you for the delightful conversation, Sayuri-san. I'll try not to use any of those stories against my captain."

Sayuri chuckled. "The pleasure was all mine, Matsumoto-fukutaichou. I'll see you in the morning."

Matsumoto bowed her head and silently left the quarters. She had a smile on her face at the thought of her captain, many years younger, fighting Hinamori for the last slice of watermelon or beating up the neighborhood kids because they called Hinamori names. It didn't surprise her one bit.

Matsumoto had said that she'd try not to use the stories against him, but she hadn't promised to try very hard.

* * *

Hitsugaya awoke to the sun streaming in through the window in his living area. At first, he wasn't sure what had happened until he remembered his grandmother and the night before. He then realized that he'd slept the entire night without nightmares. He still felt exhausted, but the exhaustion was a little less than it had been yesterday. Hitsugaya stretched and winced as his neck popped. The sun was still low in the sky so it wasn't that late in the day, for which he was grateful.

He got to his feet, wincing at his disheveled and wrinkled uniform. He took off the white haori and laid it over the couch, hoping that gravity would work its magic on the wrinkles. He looked around for his grandmother but didn't find her in the living area or the kitchen. When he went into his bedroom, Hitsugaya saw her curled up on his bed under a blanket she had given him many years before. He smiled fondly and went into the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

She joined him about an hour later as he was finishing making the meal.

"That smells divine, Toushirou," she said. "I'm glad you're not letting the cooking skills go to waste."

"It's soothing to do it once in a while, but there's rarely much time for it," he replied as he set a steaming bowl of soup in front of her at the table. He sat down opposite her and sipped the broth in his bowl.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked.

"Yes, I did. I thought about moving you, but you've gotten a little too big to be carried to bed," she said, her eyes shining with mischief.

Hitsugaya smiled, feeling relaxed for the first time since the war with Aizen had started.

"Did you sleep well?" she asked him.

"I did," he replied. "Better than I've slept in a very long time."

"Well, that's what family is for, young man. You should come visit me more often, you know."

"I will, obaa-san. I'm sorry, it's just been rather complicated around here lately."

"I know, Toushirou. I would like to come back and visit Momo."

"I can arrange that. We can go see her today, too, if you'd like. We can leave as soon as we're both ready."

She nodded and went into the bedroom to freshen up. Hitsugaya gathered up the dishes and cleaned up. It felt a little strange having his grandmother around; it had been a very long time since he'd woken up to someone else being in his living space, but Hitsugaya had to admit that it wasn't half bad. He didn't have to pretend to be anything around his grandmother. Even if he did pretend, she'd see right through it and call him out on it. It was one of the things he'd always loved and respected about her: she spoke her mind and stood her ground when she thought the cause was just and right.

She'd stood her ground when he'd decided that he'd imposed on her and Hinamori long enough and had wanted to leave their home. His ankle had healed and he'd been doing odd chores around the house to earn his bed and meals. He'd started noticing how the other villagers were looking at the old woman and at Hinamori when he was with them and he didn't want them to get caught up in his troubles. He'd argued and pleaded with her to let him go, but she'd put her foot down and refused to let him leave. He'd even tried sneaking out one night but she caught him. He'd felt so overwhelmed back then, unable to deal with his feelings regarding these two women who had pulled him into their lives. In the end, Hitsugaya was glad that he'd stayed. He wouldn't be the same person without their influence on him, for better or worse.

The sunset found them walking back to his grandmother's home in Junrinan.

She had spent the entire day by Hinamori's side, and Hitsugaya had stayed with her, watching them both. Unohana-taichou came in to tell them that there had been no change during the night, for which he was grateful. No change meant that Hinamori was still alive, and he would cling to that little thread of hope for as long as he could. She had to wake up so that he could apologize for what he'd done to her, so that he could spend the rest of his life making up for running his sword through her heart. He would do whatever it took, if only she opened her eyes and came back to them.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay for dinner, Toushirou?" his grandmother asked as they reached the door to the house.

"I'm sure," he replied. "I doubt Matsumoto has been into the office at all today and there's probably a lot of work for me to do."

He paused, unsure of how he should continue. There was so much that he wanted to say, so much that he wanted to get reassurance on, but he didn't know whether he could tell her. She must have sensed his distress because she clasped his hands and pulled him towards her.

"She doesn't blame you, Toushirou," his grandmother said as she wrapped her arms around him. "When she wakes up, she'll tell you. Wait until then before you kill yourself trying to make yourself stronger or hurt yourself because you're not eating well or getting enough sleep."

He returned the embrace before pulling away.

"Do you blame me?" he asked, wanting and not wanting to know the answer.

"Of course not, child! What would make you even ask me that?" she said.

"You're worried about Hinamori," he said after a pause. "You wouldn't be if it hadn't been for me. I did that to her; I hurt her."

"Dear child, you were always ready to take everyone's burdens upon yourself, but don't take on this one. I blame the man responsible, that captain of yours who used you and Momo against each other. He was the one who put Momo in that bed; he's the one who gave you the pain and anguish that's keeping you up at night. If you're going to blame someone, blame him."

Part of Hitsugaya knew that she was right, but it was all still so fresh, and he couldn't help but feel a stab in his own heart every time he went into Hinamori's room.

"Be careful on the way back," she said. "I expect to see you back pretty soon, understood?"

"Yes, ma'am," he replied and left to return to his life, a life that, for now, didn't have Hinamori in it. As the walls of Seireitei came into view, Hitsugaya thought of all the souls that they were responsible for; all the people that came and went that he, as part of the Gotei 13, helped protect. They were what made doing what he did worth it, even at the price he sometimes had to pay.

Hitsugaya turned back to face Junrinan. He couldn't see his home anymore, but he was sure that his grandmother was still standing on the porch.

"Thank you, obaa-san," he said and, with one last look at the village, turned and headed into Seireitei where his new family waited.

* * *

Well, what did you think? Reviews are appreciated.


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